This last year I have been doing a bible study for the story of Moses. It has really made me think of what I am supposed to be doing and wonder if I am missing the opportunities that God is giving me to serve other people. I felt like last year during the diagnosis with MS that I was beginning to see his hand in my life blatantly. For example, I had gained a lot of weight a couple of years ago and went on Weight Watchers which significantly changes the way you look at food. I began to look at labels and really see the calories, dietary fiber, and total fat in food. More importantly I had some friends that were really pulling me to take a front seat on my relationship with God and to stop going halfway and then stopping. I feel that by taking the front seat, God has taken my car and led me through Autopia. He is keeping me on HIS path. (Autopia used to be the car ride at Disneyland)
With all these things in mind, I can see Him preparing me for what was to come. Last Valentine's day when I got the first blow from the neurologist of what this could be, my friends came running. In fact, I cry as I remember how they were all falling apart at the news as I was, reaffirming me of the people God had placed in my life.In the following days my right leg began to bother me and I received a phone call from my friend, Meg saying I should call her friend and he is expecting my call. He was a neurologist. After talking to him I understood that I should be going to the ER and this was going to speed up a process that he felt was going to inevitably be drawn out. Upon arrival to the ER, which was empty, (I was informed by the desk that this was VERY abnormal for the kind of day it had been)the doctor that greeted me was a client of Will's. He explained to me all that this could be and that I would be getting an MRI in the next 24 hours. He prescribed Valium to calm my nerves and assurance for the next day that I would know what was going on. Sure enough in the morning I received a phone call with the time of my MRI and I went in. Within 4 hours of my MRI, Will had gotten a call at home from the ER doctor telling him of the lesions on my spine, where they were, the couple in my brain, and which MS doctor I should call. He had also notified the doctor on call and I was to begin steroids that afternoon. God had surely placed all these people in my path. I know this because everything was incredibly smooth from the moment Meg's friend was placed in my path.
To add more proof, as many know, I have never been one to watch food, but randomly decided to do Weight Watchers that summer before diagnosis. I am now on a somewhat strict MS Diet that I have chosen to do as it has proven to put off disability for 30 years. This has made me have to examine every label on food and ask food servers questions on many occasions about how something is cooked.
Also, I had two options for the medication I would be given. If you have ever watched a movie with me you would know that I don't handle blood or shots well at all. With MS I have to give blood tests every three months and injections to myself 3 times a week. The shot that was recommended to me was an infusion originally and had a side effect of a rare brain infection that can kill you. I was relieved that the MS Specialist, Stan Cohan, preferred to take a less risky path and to see if Rebif would work, which comes with an apparatus that helps to administer the injections. As many of you have read I am flourishing on this method of medication and one lesion is undetectable now.
I have been struggling this past year to read the stories of all the people with MS that are disabled, in pain, blind, or worse, yet understanding that is the case for some and may be in my future sooner or later. However, I wanted to be the voice for those that need to see that you can live a very normal life with MS. My days are not all great, but whose are. As far as I am concerned I have a new normal life that is surrounded by a loving family, a plethora of amazing friends, and a God that have all supported me unconditionally and accepted this disease and diet whole-heartedly.
I feel this struggle was given light this last week when a representative from the Oregon MS Society called wanting me to be a story pitch for the MS Walk this year. I was finally able to give my voice to this disease and show my grateful attitude for what it has shown me and a positive note for those being diagnosed or feeling like their walls are crumbling with it.
I cried as I wrote this entry because I remember this past year and all its battles and I know that God's hand was in it all with people and diet, and medication. The representative reaffirmed it the other day when she said, " I cannot believe that you have only done this walk for one year. We have people that have been walking for years and do not have near the support you do." I could not disagree with her. I hope you can now see his hand on my life as I have.
I want to take this time to thank all of you that have supported me this past year with your hugs, your listening ears, your wallets, your legs in the walk, your changing of menu when I am coming, your prayers, your understanding when I bough out at last minute, and for stepping up when I could not. I want you to know I have noticed all of your efforts and appreciate them with open arms and gratitude. I am humbled with all of your love and support. Thank you:)
